Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
They took my balls.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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