Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
