I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
