I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
