butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
