It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
