i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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