my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
