i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
