I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
