they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
