dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
