When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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