Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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