You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
