ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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