i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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