so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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