First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
