yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
