how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
A+ Viking dick
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
