I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize