i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Randomize
