David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We're too hungover to prance.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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