All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dude i'm inner monologue high
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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