Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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