Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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