Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
