After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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