I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Alive.
So much puke
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
