I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Welp...herpes.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So squirting runs in the family.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
