yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
