Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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