Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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