We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
third nipple confirmed
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize