I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
