I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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