Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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