Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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