he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
