We're facebook friends in real life
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
