you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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