Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
