hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Still dying that you shit outside
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
