The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
