Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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