Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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