im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
a search helicopter?!
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
