we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
