i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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