it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
