I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
