I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
