We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
