Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
