I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
