the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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