I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
