her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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